A small community isn't always a welcoming one

Jake Meador, a practicing Christian, ponders why a lot of once-practicing U.S. Christians stopped attending services. (His piece is in The Atlantic and might be behind a paywall.)

According to Meador a new book, The Great Dechurching, offers insights into the exodus. Though "religious abuse and more general moral corruption in churches" certainly is a factor, the majority of the lapsed faithful cited the pace and intensity of life in these United States. Meador characterizes the problem thus:

Contemporary America simply isn’t set up to promote mutuality, care, or common life. Rather, it is designed to maximize individual accomplishment as defined by professional and financial success. Such a system leaves precious little time or energy for forms of community that don’t contribute to one’s own professional life or, as one ages, the professional prospects of one’s children. Workism reigns in America, and because of it, community in America, religious community included, is a math problem that doesn’t add up.

(A couple of links omitted.)

Meador argues that the solution is for churches to become models of a better way of living.

What is more needed in our time than a community marked by sincere love, sharing what they have from each according to their ability and to each according to their need, eating together regularly, generously serving neighbors, and living lives of quiet virtue and prayer? A healthy church can be a safety net in the harsh American economy by offering its members material assistance in times of need: meals after a baby is born, money for rent after a layoff. Perhaps more important, it reminds people that their identity is not in their job or how much money they make; they are children of God, loved and protected and infinitely valuable.

If you're Christian, this is an appealing vision.

What about the non-Christians?

A large enough town might have enough believers of different religions and denominations to support multiple places of worship, each and all of which I suppose ought to provide an active and embracing sense of community, in Meador's vision.

What about the small towns, though? What about the places where one Christian denomination (for it will generally be a Christian denomination) dominates?

If you're a Christian teen who is LGBTQ+, will that denomination's church welcome you?

If you're a Muslim resident of that town, how can you share in a sense of community that originates in a religion that's not yours?

Oh, and what about the non-religionists? If you're an atheist or nonbeliever, can you share in a sense of community that arises from any religion?

The problem with Meador's vision, then, is that it overlooks one of the biggest problems with a small community, whether it be a church or town: it can be absolute hell for anyone who isn't perceived to fit in.

One could argue that Christian churches are specifically problematic because the Bible has a myriad of injunctions that literal-minded adherents use to make life miserable for others. However, the blind spot in Meador's vision isn't limited to churches. The furor over Jason Aldean's "Try That in a Small Town" highlights the blind spot his fans and politically likeminded people have, one that isn't about Christianity per se. Rather, it's about what it means to belong — and who gets to decide who belongs.

Aldean and his supporters don't see anything objectionable in his lyrics, and why would they? They're the ones who fit into the towns in which they live. They feel part of a close-knit near-family.

For those who are out of step or make others uncomfortable, though, it's a very different and unhappy story. In a small community someone who's different, even if harmless, may have no refuge from unremitting community disapproval (or worse). They're made to feel that they don't belong and that it's their fault.

That is what Aldean and others don't see (or won't admit). That's the dark side Aldean's lyrics bring to mind for all the nonconformists who find themselves on the outs in those supposedly idyllic communities. (The nastiness is visited on a lot of non-Whites, too, who often find themselves being seen as a threat.)

Meador's vision doesn't comfort this nonconformist, who wants no part of religion. I think centering community in churches will simply exacerbate the problems faced by nonconformists all over, because the Abrahamic religions can't help defining themselves in part by whom they exclude.